CurlTalk

Wow.

You know what I just realized? A lot of this website is a lie. I mean when have you seen direct hate towards curly hair? If we exploited curly hair as much as we apparently want to, wouldn't people with straight hair do what we're doing right now? It's a matter of opinion. This is a good place to talk about how to style your hair or whatever, but whining about "curly hair haters" is a little ridiculous.
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Comments

  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    I predict you're going to be in the minority in thinking this way. Curly hair is harder to manage (wavy can be too for that matter which is what I have) then straight hair. Have you not read the countless stories on here about young girls who's Mothers were always trying to straighten the Mop on their head? How kids were teased because of their curly unruly hair?? How when some have gone CG were ridiculed and told that they looked better straight even by strangers?

    Straight haired people don't get ridiculed for having straight hair.

    and what about all the curl haters on Facebook?

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpages%2FThe-World-Hates-People-With-Curly-Hair%2F474860985606%3Fref%3Dts" class="Popup

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    and there was a thread not too long ago about one of many curl haters club on FB

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=101980
    Discovered CG 2007

    2C Fia BSL/Thick/Med-Coarse/Low(crown)-Normal Porosity Protein and Oil Sensitive

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    CJRehab or H&B Fix, Deva NO POO, EO Rose & Cham POO & Condish, CJ CurlFix, CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB, SS FHG, KCCC, BRHG, AG Mousse Gel, ACV Rinses,Shikakai Conditioning Hair Rinse.
  • SoficurlsSoficurls Posts: 177Registered Users
    I recently went to the theater to watch a movie and in the previews they had an AXE (or tag) showerl gel for men commercial where a blond (off course straight haired girl) was sitting at a living room with this cute curly haired guy that kept trying to be extremely sweet with her and she kept refusing him and giving him a "EWW" face. So at this point I find him adorable because of the cute curls, but I don't think they are going to thrash his curls.
    Anyway. A machine with scissors appears on the screen and the camera starts shooting the floor. All of this curls start falling on the floor, and when they shoot the guy again he had short hip hair with long super straight bangs, they dressed him up in punk like clothes, and the blonde jumped on him. This is apparently what axe does to you, it pretties you up for girls. Off course I thought the message was horrible because to pretty this man up they cut his disgusting curls and straightened the rest of his hair.

    Do you need any more proof?
    Soficurls:read2:3a, 3b
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  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    I don't get it. Personally, I have not experienced much hatred of curls, but it seems like lots of people here have. Why would you assume they're all lying?
    Brooklyn, NY

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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Some people go the extreme and mistake the message as being 'curly hair = better'. When really, the idea is supposed to be to accept, and glorify what your natural state of hair is, and not obsess about fitting into a certain mold.

    Unfortunately that gets missed and it sometimes turns into an obsession on how to be CURLIER rather than straighter. Which is actually the same issue, just reversed.

    The foundation is that ideally people should accept what they have as their own individual perfect feature. Learn how to manage it yourself, because it is essentially all yours. Nobody is going to have the exact same anything. We just share examples and stories while trying to come up with what works best.
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  • dandydandy Posts: 346Registered Users
    ive never experienced any hatred of curls either.. quite the opposite.. but to call this site lies.. wateva
    2c/3a ? fine/medium iii- tons of it! FL. Suave, TTNG, CJDF co wash, GDLI
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  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    to the OP forgot to mention, if you read the Curly Girl Handbook you'll see many examples of curly girls trying to embrace rather then hate their curls. They share their experiences of dealing with ridicule as well..
    Discovered CG 2007

    2C Fia BSL/Thick/Med-Coarse/Low(crown)-Normal Porosity Protein and Oil Sensitive

    Link-Spritz & Condish Washing:glasses7:

    I'm aCurlJunkieJunky :love4:

    My hair LOVES Coconut DESPISES Soap Bars :tongue6:


    CJRehab or H&B Fix, Deva NO POO, EO Rose & Cham POO & Condish, CJ CurlFix, CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB, SS FHG, KCCC, BRHG, AG Mousse Gel, ACV Rinses,Shikakai Conditioning Hair Rinse.
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    smo6767 wrote: »
    You know what I just realized? A lot of this website is a lie. I mean when have you seen direct hate towards curly hair? If we exploited curly hair as much as we apparently want to, wouldn't people with straight hair do what we're doing right now? It's a matter of opinion. This is a good place to talk about how to style your hair or whatever, but whining about "curly hair haters" is a little ridiculous.

    A lot? Really? What percentage? Cause I spend time here and I don't see that much whining. What's your specific proof for using the term "a lot" and "lie" in sequence? And how do you know they're lying? Did you do a study? Did you get a research grant to follow down every complaint and deem it a hoax?

    I call shenanigans on your declaration.

    On the subject of anti-curly tales and "whines":
    I've seen self-hatred of one's own curly hair in my own family. A recent forum thread related a girl's ridicule by classmates when she went to school with her curls loose. Others told they should straighten their hair to look more "professional" at work. Mothers relaxing their daughters' hair from young ages to make it "good hair"--as if curly hair was, by default, bad. I personally heard more than one story at a recent meeting of curly girls in my local area where mother's would weep and howl when their daughters went natural, like it was some sort of drastic and dreadful decision to not straighten hair.

    Now, granted, it will be different for some than others--and some won't have issues at all. I have not had issues, but then again, I'm very forthright and if someone gets up in my face, things can get pretty ugly, cause I do not take crap like that from anyone. I put up with racist abuse that almost turned me into a fricken anthropophobe when I was 12, and I'm not about to let that crap happen again. Someone says something about my hair that's negative, they better be prepared for a socio-racio-polito-aethetico-ethical lecture.

    But not everyone is confrontational and they suffer in silence. And in this forum that's dedicated to curlies, do they not have a right to voice their pain? If anywhere was a place to do it, isn't it here? If 'a lot" want to whine, this is the place they SHOULD do it without being called fibbers.

    I don't think they're fibbers.

    When oodles of women get their noses thinned, they're saying wide noses are ugly. When oodles of women get DD breasts, they're saying smaller breasts are not as good. When oodles of women get their hair relaxed, they're saying kinds and curls are unattractive or undesirable (though some may simply be saying it's EASIER to care for straightened hair, which it probably is, sure, so I allow leeway there.)

    The very fact so many get teased for having curls--and when was the last time you heard someone teased for having straight, smooth hair?--says we have issues with this.

    To say it' a "lie"...is to cast a great big nasty judgment on the true experiences of many women with curly and kinky or "ethnic" or coiled hair.

    I do agree that going to the obsessive extreme of wanting another hair type you don't have (ie, going curlier and curlier and curlier) is another frustrating search for what one does not have without a lot of work. I think a better way is to see what your hair is like, where it needs to be improved healthwise, and then get the optimal appearance YOUR and MY hair can get being itself.

    In a "natural way", letting my hair air-dry, I can't have waves. I can't have 3c. I don't want products to make me a different curl type or straighter right now. I want products to protect and enhance the curl type I do have, to moisturize my dry hair, to give sheen to my dull, aging, graying hair, and try to fight off the unappealing frizz humidity can cause in moister weather. And, because part of using one's hair as an accessory is having a shape that flatters ones features and body type--I want volume and some height. How can I do that with the least damage to my hair? That's why I'm here. :D

    It's no different than straight-haired folks using serums and such to get smoother versions of their hair and to control frizz and visiting hair forums in the search for shinier, smoother, more voluminous versions of their hair type.

    I think people should have the hair they desire, be it radically different from or exactly the same hair they naturally have. Wanna blow it? Blow it. Wanna iron it? Iron it. Wanna relax it? Relax it? Wanna curly perm it? Curly perm it. Wanna shave it off. Go for it. But it's a good thing to examine WHY we want hair totally different from our own, and if teh reasons are not part of the racist thread that has corrupted aesthetics for ages. If it's not pressure to look whiter, etc, if it's just that you think your features look better with waves, verus curls, or curls versus kinks, or whatever, then do it. Be happy.

    I just think that there is a lot of pressure on "ethnic" women to fit the white ideal of beauty. Thin small noses. Straight, smooth hair. Lighter skin. Or you wouldn't see all those Jamaican women with skin bleachers or all those black celebrities having their noses shaved down and mini-sized or their kinks relaxed. Or why dark-skinned women were out there buying green and blue contacts and looking like weird-zombies with them, too. Like it or not, the white ideal persists. (Though thank God for hip-hop and J-Lo for popularizing the big butt, cause I remember when a tiny, flattish butt was the ideal and many Latina and black ladies just weren't gonna fit that boat.)

    No one says just let your hair hang and let it be what it is. We all want to feel attractive. But I remember when in my growing up years, no one in magazines looked like me. And finding haircuts in magazines to show stylists was a chore, cause just about everyone had non-curly hair. What message did that send? YOU ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE X an Y, and they have straight hair and skinny bodies and white skin. That was what I saw growing up.

    I got picked on because of my ethnicity and coloring. But some here have been picked on because of textured hair. I believe them.

    It's kind of arrogant of you to call them big fat liars.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

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  • rudeechickrudeechick Posts: 6,726Registered Users
    iroc wrote: »
    Some people go the extreme and mistake the message as being 'curly hair = better'. When really, the idea is supposed to be to accept, and glorify what your natural state of hair is, and not obsess about fitting into a certain mold.

    Unfortunately that gets missed and it sometimes turns into an obsession on how to be CURLIER rather than straighter. Which is actually the same issue, just reversed.

    The foundation is that ideally people should accept what they have as their own individual perfect feature. Learn how to manage it yourself, because it is essentially all yours. Nobody is going to have the exact same anything. We just share examples and stories while trying to come up with what works best.

    +1.

    And I got mucho grief about my hair as a kid. Which turned me into a self hating curly for a while...This place is great.
    Lies? This place could be my autobiography and I aint no lie.....
    Curls,Coils,Waves & WhatKnot:geek:
    3miii/My HGs tame bulk&frizz/Give definition w/o crunch
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  • smo6767smo6767 Posts: 409Registered Users
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.
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  • littlemisscurlslittlemisscurls Posts: 25Registered Users
    I really hated my hair because of all of the negative comments I received. After I found this site I learned to like it a lot better, so no. All these threads aren't lies because a lot of them has happened to me and i'm only 13.
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  • pearl89pearl89 Posts: 185Registered Users
    I think you could not be more wrong.

    I think that a lot of curlies on this board have experienced a lot of ridicule. Sometimes it stems from pure racism. I have heard people say that curly hair is "ok, as long as it lookes like 'white curly' hair" meaning like a type 3a sort of hair...

    I know that I was teased and literally called "disgusting" by a boy in high school because I had "dirty and crazy" hair (where I went to school me and only one other girl had curly hair, I was also the only one who wasnt white)

    Curl hatred ties hand in hand with racism because African Americans were told that their hair was only "healthy" and "beautiful" if it looked like "white hair" (thus the invention of relaxers, etc.)

    Curl hatred is real and often enough the curlier your hair and the more "ethnic" it looks, the worse the curl hatred is...
    3b/3c. S curls with coils at the end. Normol porosity. Medium texture, super elastic... Barely SL, hoping to go BSL.

    Water wash
    RO: Garnier Triple Nutrition.
    Leave in: Suave naturals coconut
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    DT: I'm experimenting.

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  • pearl89pearl89 Posts: 185Registered Users
    MirCurls wrote: »
    But it's a good thing to examine WHY we want hair totally different from our own, and if teh reasons are not part of the racist thread that has corrupted aesthetics for ages. If it's not pressure to look whiter, etc, if it's just that you think your features look better with waves, verus curls, or curls versus kinks, or whatever, then do it. Be happy.

    I just think that there is a lot of pressure on "ethnic" women to fit the white ideal of beauty. quote]


    totally agree
    3b/3c. S curls with coils at the end. Normol porosity. Medium texture, super elastic... Barely SL, hoping to go BSL.

    Water wash
    RO: Garnier Triple Nutrition.
    Leave in: Suave naturals coconut
    Styling products: Biotera curling cream with a few drops of honey.
    DT: I'm experimenting.

    I <3 satin XD
  • rudeechickrudeechick Posts: 6,726Registered Users
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.

    I'm confused. So you dont believe what you wrote in your OP?
    Curls,Coils,Waves & WhatKnot:geek:
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  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.

    What a rude and manipulative thing to do.

    Reminds me of someone else who kept backtracking lately in a thread. Geesh. Can't people just be genuine. Ask a question honestly if you want an answer. Don't play stupid games.

    Sheesh.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

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  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.
    Are you serious???? :confused5: Wow

    what exactly was the point....?
    Discovered CG 2007

    2C Fia BSL/Thick/Med-Coarse/Low(crown)-Normal Porosity Protein and Oil Sensitive

    Link-Spritz & Condish Washing:glasses7:

    I'm aCurlJunkieJunky :love4:

    My hair LOVES Coconut DESPISES Soap Bars :tongue6:


    CJRehab or H&B Fix, Deva NO POO, EO Rose & Cham POO & Condish, CJ CurlFix, CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB, SS FHG, KCCC, BRHG, AG Mousse Gel, ACV Rinses,Shikakai Conditioning Hair Rinse.
  • rudeechickrudeechick Posts: 6,726Registered Users
    DEL2C wrote: »
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.
    Are you serious???? :confused5: Wow

    what exactly was the point....?

    i smell a rat....
    Curls,Coils,Waves & WhatKnot:geek:
    3miii/My HGs tame bulk&frizz/Give definition w/o crunch
    My Photobucket Album
  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users
    rudeechick wrote: »
    DEL2C wrote: »
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.
    Are you serious???? :confused5: Wow

    what exactly was the point....?

    i smell a rat....
    I smell Something :lol:
    Discovered CG 2007

    2C Fia BSL/Thick/Med-Coarse/Low(crown)-Normal Porosity Protein and Oil Sensitive

    Link-Spritz & Condish Washing:glasses7:

    I'm aCurlJunkieJunky :love4:

    My hair LOVES Coconut DESPISES Soap Bars :tongue6:


    CJRehab or H&B Fix, Deva NO POO, EO Rose & Cham POO & Condish, CJ CurlFix, CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB, SS FHG, KCCC, BRHG, AG Mousse Gel, ACV Rinses,Shikakai Conditioning Hair Rinse.
  • CurlieTopCurlieTop Posts: 345Registered Users
    Wow, what is with the troll-ish people on here lately?

    Just to add to the stories on here: A few years back I had a massive crush on someone who truly didn't notice me until I started straightening my hair on the regular. When I did, not only did that person notice and mention how great it looked, but many people around me did as well. Therefore, the message to me was that I need to flat iron my hair daily in order to be noticed. This is a message many people on this forum get every day. Now I am older and with someone who prefers my curls over straightened hair (but in the end doesn't really care what I do with my hair!), and I now see that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And that other person wasn't worth it anyway, for more reasons than one!
    ~ curlie top ~
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  • lizzlebelizzlelizzlebelizzle Posts: 287Registered Users
    CurlieTop wrote: »
    Wow, what is with the troll-ish people on here lately?

    Maybe it's the NYTimes article? Although the OP has over 400 posts.
  • BeachCurlGurlBeachCurlGurl Posts: 168Registered Users
    DEL2C wrote: »
    smo6767 wrote: »
    Sorry guys; I don't strongly feel that way, I wanted to see what everybody would say.
    Are you serious???? :confused5: Wow

    what exactly was the point....?


    +1
    Yes, what exactly is your point??
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  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Posts: 267Registered Users
    I completely agree with MirCurls and pearl89. I couldn't have said it better...:thumbup:
  • jenny curljenny curl Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    This OP (the message) is just weird. Like, "be the curly fry among the regular fries" or something like that in your avatar, but post the complete opposite? And wait, do you really feel strongly about your OP, or don't you? Was very broad about the whole "Sorry guys; I don't feel strongly...." (Don't remember, and too much in a cranky mood to quote) Hmm... Well, I'm not sure how to delete an account on here, but I'm pretty sure that's an option if you are not happy....
    3b/c :: Fine :: Porous

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