CurlTalk

At what age is appropriate to wax your daughter's unibrow?

ScaryCurlScaryCurl Posts: 138Registered Users
My 10.5 year old has really started to mature physically. She truly has such a beautiful face and hair, but it's all overshadowed by this extremely thick, spread-out (close down to her upper eyelid) uni-brow. I asked her to just let me wax between them (to at least give her 2) and remove some of those right above her eyelid. I'm not trying to make her look like J-Lo, just a little less like Helga Pitaki (cartoon...Hey Arnold). LOL

So what's the right age or is there a "right" age?
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Comments

  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    i think that whenever it bothers them, if it bothers them, is the time to do it.

    this was a heavy subject for me. i am very hairy and i have dark hair, so it was much more obvious than a lot of my peers (especially growing up in an area where i was very much in the minority with regard to my coloring, etc.) - and i got made fun of pretty early, so i begged my grandma (who was a beautician) to do my brows.

    when she finally did them for me (i think i was probably around 12 or 13, don't remember) she explained that i would have to keep them up, and showed me how, etc.

    so yeah, i think that whenever she is conscious of it and wants it done, you should go ahead.

    is she bothered by them at all?

    m
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  • ScaryCurlScaryCurl Posts: 138Registered Users
    mayim wrote:
    i
    so yeah, i think that whenever she is conscious of it and wants it done, you should go ahead.

    is she bothered by them at all?

    m

    She is at such a stage right now that she doesn't care if she leaves the house without her hair brushed! Drives me crazy. She is totally regressing. NOTHING bothers her. She is even starting to get tiny pimples and blackheads around her little nose. So I did buy her acne products that if I didn't apply everynight before bedtime, she would bother with that either. :?

    Oh, Mayim, you forgot to vote on this one. :wink:
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  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    Whenever (if ever) it bothers her, not when it bothers you.
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  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    maybe it would be better to get them tweezed or threaded so it won't be an overly manicured look for a child
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • ScaryCurlScaryCurl Posts: 138Registered Users
    maybe it would be better to get them tweezed or threaded so it won't be an overly manicured look for a child

    Trust me, I'm not that good. She definitely won't be looking like Boy George. Just a softer look, like giving her two would be a start. Waxing hurts much less than tweezing. I don't know about the rest of you but after years of tweezing, waxing actually feels pretty good if you can believe that. I know, I'm weird.
    Hair type: 3C. Favorite products for the moment: CONDITIONER: Elucence MBC, LEAVE-IN COND: Curls Rock. CURL ENHANCER: Frederic Fekkai Luscious Curls. GEL: Ouidad Climate Control (HG), FINISHING: Frederic Fekkai Glossing Creme.
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    ScaryCurl wrote:
    maybe it would be better to get them tweezed or threaded so it won't be an overly manicured look for a child

    Trust me, I'm not that good. She definitely won't be looking like Boy George. Just a softer look, like giving her two would be a start. Waxing hurts much less than tweezing. I don't know about the rest of you but after years of tweezing, waxing actually feels pretty good if you can believe that. I know, I'm weird.

    well then, I say go for it and see if she likes how they look
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    I *would* say to wait until it bothers her, but she might be too embarrassed to ask. Unibrows are often thought of as comical in the US (as opposed to, say, traditional Persian society, in which they are/were a sign of beauty). For some reason, my friend was really embarrassed about asking for materials to shave her legs, until she was 16. She wore pants every day until then.
  • ScaryCurlScaryCurl Posts: 138Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote:
    I *would* say to wait until it bothers her, but she might be too embarrassed to ask. Unibrows are often thought of as comical in the US (as opposed to, say, traditional Persian society, in which they are/were a sign of beauty). For some reason, my friend was really embarrassed about asking for materials to shave her legs, until she was 16. She wore pants every day until then.

    If unibrows are considered comical these days, I'm in trouble because she is the class clown...always trying to make people laugh. :lol: Gotta love her. She's definitely witty. She actually told me when she was 5 that she wanted to be a stand up comedienne...at 5! LOL
    Hair type: 3C. Favorite products for the moment: CONDITIONER: Elucence MBC, LEAVE-IN COND: Curls Rock. CURL ENHANCER: Frederic Fekkai Luscious Curls. GEL: Ouidad Climate Control (HG), FINISHING: Frederic Fekkai Glossing Creme.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Whoops. Totally did not mean that as an insult. I meant that it gives her an air of glamor unbefitting of her station in life, or whatever reason you had for wanting to wax it.

    You're the one who compared your daughter to Helga Pataki :? Which is, seriously, why I chose that word.


    Nevertheless, please excuse me while I huddle in mortification.
  • Aries_jbAries_jb Posts: 1,556Registered Users
    I say to wait until it bothers her, and don't push her. My mom had a habit of trying to "fix" me and many times I didn't even see a problem with myself until she began pointing it out. I still hate her for some of the things she tried to do.
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  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    I would not be happy that my mother was so bothered by my eyebrows that she would try to get me to let her wax them and would bring home products for my skin. My mother did that kind of thing to me and it ate at my self esteem. If she comes to you then offer help. Otherwise I would just leave her alone. You are sending the message that something is wrong with her.
  • xotikloksxotikloks Posts: 92Registered Users
    Karenmc3 wrote:
    Whenever (if ever) it bothers her, not when it bothers you.

    ITA

    At 10 years old neither my friends nor I had any concept of waxing, tweezing, threading, plucking, shaping our eyebrows. They were just, well . . . eyebrows.
    You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true.

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  • RheannaRheanna Posts: 2,614Registered Users
    I would not be happy that my mother was so bothered by my eyebrows that she would try to get me to let her wax them and would bring home products for my skin. My mother did that kind of thing to me and it ate at my self esteem. If she comes to you then offer help. Otherwise I would just leave her alone. You are sending the message that something is wrong with her.

    I tend to agree with this post. I hated, and still hate, when people want to "fix" things with me that I have no problem with, and it could make her become overly self conscious at that age. I would wait until it bothers her, as well.
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  • CaryCary Posts: 102Registered Users
    i have to agree with everyone else. every time my mother points out something that she thinks needs some help, i am all the more reluctant to do it.
    when you hook up an EKG to a tree you'll get a heartbeat every 15 mins
  • KurleeKurlee Posts: 1,354Registered Users
    "When she asks" got my vote.

  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.
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  • jennyfurrensjennyfurrens Posts: 708Registered Users
    definately wait till it bothers her. 10.5 is a little young IMO for a girl to have to care about her looks. at 13 i was still wearing bright orange cords, with frizzy hair and no makeup. i think its beautiful to see a young kid still looking like a kid rather than a minature adult. don't force the vanity of adulthood on her too early. sorry if that sounds harsh but it scares me to see 8 y/o's with pierced bellybuttons and manicured nails. since this is a curly hair board i should metnion that i had a poodle hair do till i was about 14 and worked out how to care for it. obviouslly it upset me a litlte that i got teased for it but i didnt care in a vain manner.

    if you put pressure on her to remove her monobrow or to get rid of pimples at such a young age you may start to pressure her to look good all the time. thats too much pressure for a 10 y/o. hell i was still playing in the park with muddy jeans when i was 10!

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  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users
    Wait until she asks for it doing, it's her body afterall.
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • JoyForeverJoyForever Posts: 1,628Registered Users
    I'd say wait until she asks. I hate it (yes, still!) when my mom gives me unsolicited beauty suggestions. It feels like I'm Not Good Enough-- even though I completely know that she doesn't really think that. Still feels like it.

    That said, you could make subtle comments/asides to let her know the option is there if she wants it-- like Eilonwy said, she might be embarrassed, or just not know it can be taken care of. Key word: subtle! Kids are more perceptive than we usually think they are.
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  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    NetG wrote:
    I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.

    I agree.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,778Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    NetG wrote:
    I remember in middle school finding out one of my friends got her eyebrows waxed. She was ahead of the rest of us as far as physical development went, and we all thought the idea of having eyebrows waxed was totally weird. However, this girl was made fun of already for stupid reasons. Had she had a unibrow, people would have made fun of her for that, too. I am a voice for dissent, apparently, because I know how cruel the kids in my middle school could be, and that usually people are stuck with their middle school peers through high school, and it can be distracting even then. I think her mom saying "let's just clean up stray hairs between your eyebrows" is a lot less harmful than some of the things middle schoolers would say. Which wouldn't be so easy to live down.

    I agree.

    I do aswell. It's not like you are complaining about her haircut or her choice of clothes, this is something that she has no control over. Kids get teased over so many things, if this can make it one less, go for it...if she is up for it.

    I see this more in the realm of wearing deoderant and learning how to apply makeup than really critiquing your child. These are the type of things that Moms are supposed to help with!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
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  • SuZenSuZen Posts: 1,595Registered Users
    I also voted for waiting until it bothers her. Girls get so self-conscious and down on their looks in their teens anyway, I wouldn't want to start early.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,778Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    SuZen wrote:
    I also voted for waiting until it bothers her. Girls get so self-conscious and down on their looks in their teens anyway, I wouldn't want to start early.

    Would you not want to help them out early then, so they can avoid alot of the jokes and mean cooments they will come from peers?

    Rememeber, I don't have kids, just just shooting my mouth off here :wink: I would just think that a parent would do whatever they can to help there child from being teased. This is such a small issue, but a nasty nickname that could last so long :?

    I had horrible, horrible acne when I was in grade 5, so about 10 or 11. My Mom got me set up on a cleansing program and my face was clear within weeks, and I have had clear skin ever since. I think it would have been so cruel for her to have waited until I asked for help.
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • three rivers curlythree rivers curly Posts: 994Registered Users
    I remeber being a pre-teen / teenager. Everytime my mother suggested something about my looks, it felt like an insult - even if it was not meant that way.

    I know you want what is best for your daughter. I know you don't want her to be ridiculed. That is wonderful. But - if you push her it may be another step to push her away.

    The mother/daughter relationship is hard enough during the teenage years. Personally, I would be leary of doing something that might make it worse - even if you have the best intentions.
    Better everyone think your a fool, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I would wait till she asks but drop hints before that, as someone else already said. In a couple of years if not before you'll have to talk to her about getting a bra, deodorant, etc. so if she hasn't brought up waxing/shaving by then, you could do it at that time.

    I don't think you can either predict all the things kids will tease other kids for or try to pre-empt all those things. Kids can be cruel about anything they want if they don't like someone. And I don't like the idea of changing something one may like or be indifferent to just because of a few jerks in elementary school.

    I think it is better to teach a kid healthy self-esteem so they can deal with and shake off any teasing and bullying that may come their way and understand that it does not define them rather than catering to the whims of the meanest, ugliest people out there. That would just give the bullies the idea that harassing people works and gives them what they want.

    People who are bullied because of their name, skin colour, accent, socio-economic status, parents' situation, height etc. etc. etc. can't change those things, so they are going to have to deal with it anyway. Should a kid with curly hair straighten it because they are being teased about it? Or dye their hair if someone makes fun of the colour?

    I think teasing about a unibrow would also depend on the makeup of your daughter's class. My school had a lot of girls of Indian, Greek, Italian and Lebanese descent who tended to be quite hairy due to their ethnic origins, so many of them had unibrows (and upper lip hair, leg hair etc.) and it wasn't really a big deal. Most of their parents let them wax at about 12 or 13.

    Scary, I think it's great that your daughter is still comfortable with herself. She will likely have years ahead to be obsessed with her looks, hair, weight etc. so let her enjoy these precious few years!
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  • SpiderSpider Posts: 3,380Registered Users
    How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?

    She may not care now, but in a few years it could bother her ( look back at your 5 & 6th grade pictures! :lol: ) and we all know kids can be very cruel. I 'd feel badly for my daughter if I knew she was being teased at school or ended up with some immature nickname the kids gave her because of something that could easily be managed.


    My 11.5 year old is very fair, you'd have to draw brows on her to see them, but she's already asked to shave her legs ( I said no) . She's kinda of a girly girl, but she doesn't like fuss of certain things (she usually pulls her hair back in a ponytail) maintaining her nails on her own... but she has become more aware of hygiene and started cleaning her face at night. I'm a product junkie, but I'm very careful to not push things on her besides good basic grooming and hygiene. No makeup ( just for play) I don't push her to style or wear her hair a certain way.

    I want her to develop a sense of self, and I know in a couple of years she will be getting more influence from her peers- It's something I remember was a tough time, but it's a fine line to help your children feel good about themselves but still guiding them when needed.
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  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    Spider wrote:
    How is this really much different than getting her hair cut? Or asking her to brush it? Though she is young, doesn't it fall under the grooming category?

    That's what I am thinking too. If she needed a haircut, I don't think mom would wait until she asked for one. You'd just go get her a haircut.

    Or if she needed to wear deoderant, I don't think anyone would wait until she asked for it. Or if she needed to wear a bra, etc..

    I don't think it will be a problem to get her eyebrows done unless mom makes a big deal about it. Otherwise, it's just like any other grooming issue.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • ScaryCurlScaryCurl Posts: 138Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote:
    Whoops. Totally did not mean that as an insult. I meant that it gives her an air of glamor unbefitting of her station in life, or whatever reason you had for wanting to wax it.

    You're the one who compared your daughter to Helga Pataki :? Which is, seriously, why I chose that word.


    Nevertheless, please excuse me while I huddle in mortification.

    Oh, I didn't take it as an insult, so no need to huddle. LOL I just suggested it to her and thought to "myself" that she looked like Helga. I would never say anything to her that would hurt her self-esteem. I didn't tell her that she looked like Helga. (Just for the record).
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  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I think you should only do it if she expresses discontent with her eyebrows. Otherwise I feel like you would be sending the message that there is something wrong with her and reinforcing the idea that a girl's value lies in how she looks.
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  • YolyYoly Posts: 253Registered Users
    ScaryCurl wrote:
    mayim wrote:
    i
    so yeah, i think that whenever she is conscious of it and wants it done, you should go ahead.

    is she bothered by them at all?

    m

    She is at such a stage right now that she doesn't care if she leaves the house without her hair brushed! Drives me crazy. She is totally regressing. NOTHING bothers her. She is even starting to get tiny pimples and blackheads around her little nose. So I did buy her acne products that if I didn't apply everynight before bedtime, she would bother with that either. :?


    My daughter went through the same stage, hell at 13 there are days she still doesn't feel like bathing(only if she's not going out). I used to take her with me when I got my eyebrows done, she would ask questions and I would tell her I liked how my eyebrows looked. Eventually she asked if she could get hers done. I take her 2x a month for a clean up. They don't make them too thin where she looks so grown up. She just looks like a normal 13 yr old She was about your daughters age when she first had them done. We stick to waxing and I pluck her stray hairs in between. I do the threading for myself but I think for her it still a little painful.

    Let her know the option is there if she wants it. If she's comfortable with the way she looks let her be.
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