CurlTalk

i hate having curly hair

Hate is a strong word. I don't want to get in trouble, so I formally apologize for all inconveniences made. Thanks naturallycurly.com, you really changed my outlook and saved my life! They told me to see for myself and find out what other people thought, well, here it is folks, I got the answer. Nobody thinks like me so I should probably just chill out.
«13

Comments

  • BekkaPooBekkaPoo Posts: 3,861Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »
    Why is my hair like this? What does it mean? How could a person with straight hair be attracted to someone with hair as curly as mine? I'm probably a 3C. It's so curly it's annoying and weird it should be straight and normal like everyone else. It's impossible to grow this crap out I wish there was a way to change my genes so I could comfortably walk outside under the sun


    Many people with "straight hair" are curlies in disguise.. normal = curly since curlies are in the majority.

    But if you truly hate your curly hair (I don't think you do, but you do seem frustrated), there are ways to straighten it permanently with chemical treatments, although there's no guarantee that you'd have much hair left after you use the chemicals. :dontknow:
    "The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
    "...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
    My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
  • curls 2nvcurls 2nv Posts: 318Registered Users
    Im not the best at giving advice, which is why I never comment on questions like this, but in my experience people are more attracted to personality than hair. Even when I never knew about this site and I rocked a brushed out afro, I wore it with CONFIDENCE...and the guys were still attracted to me because they saw that I had confidence in the way I looked, straight haired and curly haired guys of all nationalities.

    Why is your preference so narrow, that you would only want people with straight hair to be attracted to you?!? And as far as you wanting your hair to be normal, it already is! More than half the people in the world have some sort of curl or wave naturally. Congrads on being part of the majority.

    There is nothing we can do to fix this, because we cant fix your mentality. You can either accept that you have curly hair and learn to live with it and love it, or you can spend your whole life and countless amounts of money fighting them. But in the end they still win, because regardless of what you do, they still grow out of roots curly. But you will save much more time, money, and energy if you just accept that they are who you are. And when you finally accept that about yourself, people will be more willing to accept that about you.
    CG Curly
    Why does the pj monster haunt me so?:twisted:
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Growing my bf's hair from cbl to apl
  • voidofideavoidofidea Posts: 22Registered Users
    My mentality is narrow because I was born and raised among white people and culture. The middle school and high school I went to were private institutions schooling many wealthy and upper class people. All my girlfriends were of European descent, and I'm simply not attracted to "ethnic" people. I find that lighter people are more beautiful because they are lighter, the traits stick out, they are more heaven like as opposed to the darkness. The whole reason of having long hair was to distance myself as much as possible from being seen as ethnic, but in the end I'll always be an ethnic no matter how hard I try. I think I'll have to accept wearing a hat everywhere I go, but there's no escape.

    I'm sorry if these ideas offend anyone, it's the culture and people I was raised in and around. I mean, just think of the words people use and the subliminal effect they have on people's outlook. Every time I get my hair trimmed the stylist will say I have thick and coarse hair. Compare the words thick and coarse to thin and fine, there is a difference in connotation no matter how subtle it is.

    And why would I only want people of European descent to be attracted to me, because I am attracted to them and eventually would want my children to look like them, and the only way for that to even happen among a still small probability because of the genes I carry, is to reproduce with a carrier of those qualities. It runs deep in my head.
  • SunshineGrrlSunshineGrrl Posts: 3,823Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »
    My mentality is narrow because I was born and raised among white people and culture. The middle school and high school I went to were private institutions schooling many wealthy and upper class people. All my girlfriends were of European descent, and I'm simply not attracted to "ethnic" people. I find that lighter people are more beautiful because they are lighter, the traits stick out, they are more heaven like as opposed to the darkness. The whole reason of having long hair was to distance myself as much as possible from being seen as ethnic, but in the end I'll always be an ethnic no matter how hard I try. I think I'll have to accept wearing a hat everywhere I go, but there's no escape.

    I'm sorry if these ideas offend anyone, it's the culture and people I was raised in and around. I mean, just think of the words people use and the subliminal effect they have on people's outlook. Every time I get my hair trimmed the stylist will say I have thick and coarse hair. Compare the words thick and coarse to thin and fine, there is a difference in connotation no matter how subtle it is.

    And why would I only want people of European descent to be attracted to me, because I am attracted to them and eventually would want my children to look like them, and the only way for that to even happen among a still small probability because of the genes I carry, is to reproduce with a carrier of those qualities. It runs deep in my head.

    Hmmm...I was raised in a very white culture and don't think this way in the least. Being "ethnic" isn't bad. Just because you grew up among people who you think had straight hair (if they're European, chances are they at least have wavy hair), it doesn't mean your hair and/or self are ugly. Learn to take care of your hair, rock the curls instead of hiding in shame.

    I will tell you as a white person of mostly European descent (there is some American Indian thrown in waaaayyyy back), my hair is curly and I caught WAY more guys as a curly than a straighty. Just my experience.

  • voidofideavoidofidea Posts: 22Registered Users
    Well maybe it's true that my perception of people's thoughts are incorrect. I guess I'll have to work on my thought processes AND my hair. Lol

    Like I said I love all people no disrespect we're all equal
  • vangreyvangrey Posts: 40Registered Users
    I don't know what region you are in but I was raised in the south. I also went to all-white private schools with wealthy people my whole life and I do not think that affected my view of beauty. So, I don't think you can blame your perception of beauty based on the environment you were brought up in. In fact, I never wished I looked like my counterparts, and it was never an issue that my skin color was brown. I had tons of friends of all races and even dated outside of my race.

    Your perception of beauty should come from within, however, that's easier said than done. At this point, I think hair is the least of your concern. It seems like you have deeper psychological issues than hair. You can permanently straighten your hair as another person has mentioned, but this doesn't seem like a reasonable solution to your REAL problem. I mean chemically straightening your hair is mini-issue as opposed to the bigger issue, which is your self-esteem. I don't know how to tell you to work on this, but I think it's really important that you resolve this inner issue.
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fotki.com%2Fvangrey" class="Popup
    Updated April 6, 2010

    CG Method

    Type: 3b
    Porous, normal elasticity, and coarse texture

    Cowash: CJ Daily Fix
    Styling: CJ, jojoba oil, KCCC
    DT: CJ Curl Rehab, CR Algae Deep conditioner
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    vangrey wrote: »
    Your perception of beauty should come from within, however, that's easier said than done. At this point, I think hair is the least of your concern. It seems like you have deeper psychological issues than hair. You can permanently straighten your hair as another person has mentioned, but this doesn't seem like a reasonable solution to your REAL problem. I mean chemically straightening your hair is mini-issue as opposed to the bigger issue, which is your self-esteem. I don't know how to tell you to work on this, but I think it's really important that you resolve this inner issue.

    I couldn't agree more.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users
    When I was younger, I hated my hair too. I didn't know what to do with it. It was a big frizzy mess. It really was. I tried and tried and nothing made it look good.
    I finally got to the point that I just gave up caring. I concentrated on makeup.
    Then, I started slowly but surely learning different techniques that improved the look of my hair. My hairstylist taught me how to have smoother curls. Then I found products that I liked. I finally went on this site and found out some more techniques that has helped me tremendously.
    Now, I love my curly hair. I would not have straight hair if someone paid me. Well, I guess it depends how much they pay me. LOL
    Stick around and you'll find some techniques and products that will work for you. Ask questions, read, and then read some more. Good luck!

    Now, onto your self-hatred. Yep, that's what I call it. All colors, all hairtypes, are beautiful. There are many straight haired people who complain that their hair is soooo thin and flat. There are curly haired people that complain about frizz. There's ways to fix what you have without radically transforming it.
    I have learned through the years to love the person I am. I had self-esteem issues when I was younger, as well. Through loving myself more, I have appreciated others as well. By opening up your heart to yourself, you begin to open your heart to what's around you. Am I perfect? Heck no! Do I always have "good hair days"? No, but even my bad hair day isn't so bad anymore.
    You are who you are. Don't be ashamed of it. Celebrate it!
    That's right, I said it! I wear scrunchies!!

    I am a sulfate washing, cone slabbing, curly lovin' s.o.b. The CG police haven't caught me yet.
    :blob8:

    3a/3b
  • anniemaeanniemae Posts: 1,702Registered Users
    I agree with all of the previous posters - but, I do understand exactly what you are saying. My hair is VERY, VERY wavy/wurly and gets really curly and frizzy when it's hot and humid out. I have always HATED my hair. So, I know where you're coming from in that respect. I have always wanted straight, long hair, and I always will. That would be my dream, but I know it's not going to happen. All of my friends had/have straight hair, so I always felt like the odd man out, so to say. :tongue3: As I've gotten older I guess I realize now that there's not much I can do about it except that I have tried to learn different ways to style it and wear it.

    I really don't think that anyone is 100% totally happy with the hair he/she was born with. We just have to learn how to deal with it. :)

    Good luck. :happy7:
    Hair Type - wavy/curly, fine texture, thin/medium density
    2b-c/F/ii
    :dog:
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »
    Why is my hair like this? What does it mean? How could a person with straight hair be attracted to someone with hair as curly as mine? I'm probably a 3C. It's so curly it's annoying and weird it should be straight and normal like everyone else. It's impossible to grow it out

    What does it mean? It means you were born with hair with a certain texture and it's up to you to decide what to do with it in order to be happy with your hair--whether you go the natural enhancement route or the retexturizing route.

    Hair is not something that ought to question your existence or normality. It can be vexing--like other grooming/beauty issues, but it's not life-threatening or soul-destroying. Get a grip.

    And note....this is a curly hair forum, so it's chockablock with gals and guys with curly hair, I gotta tell you that part of your post is highly offensive to me.

    For your info, most of the people in the US (not sure if you are in the US, but a lot of us are) have textured hair, NOT straight. The fact that you see a lot of straight hair isn't cause it's "normal", but cause folks use blow-dryers, flatirons, and keratin treatments, to name a few of the straightening processes.

    Even in nations with primarily straight-haired folks--like Japan--people will retexturize hair (perm it, curl it, etc) seeking their ideal of beauty. Straight hair is not the summa of beauty. It's one of the ways hair can be lovely. WAves and curls and 'fros and braids and other styles/types can also enchance and show off one's beauty.

    Heck, I've seen hot BALD guys and gals, so hair is not even a beauty necessity for some.

    Like I said: get a grip, please. Find perspective.

    Curly hair has been prized for ages, so it's hardly something to consider ugly or abhorrent.

    Stating that curly hair is so offensive/unattractive that it would render one unmarriageable/unattractive is, quite frankly, ignorant and insulting.

    So, please, quell your angst and your insensitive streak.

    If what you want is help in accepting and learning to enjoy natural curls, fine. But have a thought to what you're saying IN WHAT FORUM you are saying it. This is no different than going to a gay forum and gay bashing or going to a religious forum and religion-bashing.

    I am fat, biracial, and curly-haired. I've had 4 marriage proposals and am the object of the highest love for the last 28 years of a very sexy, very smart, very kind man who adores my curls. (Like me curly better than straight, anyway.) In this forum, all sorts of beautiful women (and men) are the objects of love and desire, and no one with a fully functioning brain would think they were "less than" for not having naturally straight, easy-care hair.

    ALL THAT SAID: People here are a great resource (in terms of experimentation and experience) for how you can be happier with your hair. And if the only thing that will make you happy is straight hair, then you know what, there is the Brazilian Keratin treatment. That's a solution for you if you can afford it.

    Better to be happy with straight hair than to question your very normality because it's not. But better yet to examine why you have such a dire view of your hair. It might have deeper roots than just hair and you're just venting. Maybe.

    Whatever. I hope you find a solution for your woes and alter your views a little to enjoy the diversity of hair that blooms on this planet.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »
    My mentality is narrow because I was born and raised among white people and culture. The middle school and high school I went to were private institutions schooling many wealthy and upper class people. All my girlfriends were of European descent, and I'm simply not attracted to "ethnic" people. I find that lighter people are more beautiful because they are lighter, the traits stick out, they are more heaven like as opposed to the darkness. The whole reason of having long hair was to distance myself as much as possible from being seen as ethnic, but in the end I'll always be an ethnic no matter how hard I try. I think I'll have to accept wearing a hat everywhere I go, but there's no escape.

    I'm sorry if these ideas offend anyone, it's the culture and people I was raised in and around. I mean, just think of the words people use and the subliminal effect they have on people's outlook. Every time I get my hair trimmed the stylist will say I have thick and coarse hair. Compare the words thick and coarse to thin and fine, there is a difference in connotation no matter how subtle it is.

    And why would I only want people of European descent to be attracted to me, because I am attracted to them and eventually would want my children to look like them, and the only way for that to even happen among a still small probability because of the genes I carry, is to reproduce with a carrier of those qualities. It runs deep in my head.

    Yep. You're been shaped into, and let your self be shaped into, sadly, a beauty bigot. You obviously see that given your admission, and your next step could be (dare I say should be) to work on that. Light and darkness as metaphors do not apply to human beings in the way you apply it. It's destructive.

    If anything, as a Christian, I realize the first man (and by extension woman) (and yes, this is my philosophy/cosmic belief which you may not share) were made from the earth, so it's doubtful they were white. If anything, "earthy" is a better appellation. The Christ was born a Jew, so he was not white. Does this mean anything in terms of race? Not really. God is color-blind. It has to do with the idea, for me, that the most perfect man ever was indubitably a man of color, and the second most perfect man was an "ethnic" by designation. (Ethnic technically applies to whites as well, so it's a weird way we use the word today colloquiially.)

    Quite frankly, how anyone could look at someone like Aldis Hodge (the hot computer geek from LEVERAGE) or Rachel True or Tetsuji Tamayama (Asian hottie from Nana and Nana2) or Rosario Dawson or Iman and think they're not beautiful cause they're not "Euro White" looking....okay, unbelievable. Just unbelievable. What a small beauty box that is.

    Your issues run far deeper than hair. I am biracial. I'm FAT. Big, big FAT. I'm Hispanic, and for a while in my childhood, I lived in a white neighborhood where the local Irish gang picked on me and my family--robbed us, berated us--and called me **** on my way to school.

    So, I know about not fitting in. However, the problems now are not about them but about you, and really, that's something only YOU can work on and fix. I hope you do. Self-loathing is a bad, bad thing. I've seen more than one gal do surgical and cosmetic alterations to look white.

    Now, that said--being frizzy-curly, having bad teeth, having zits, being fat, and having very poor and uneducated parents who couldn't give me socio-economic advantages (we lived in the "ghetto, but my parents and kin were amazingly loving and hardworking and kind), I nevertheless had enough spark and smarts to attract all kinds of guys. My husband is white (Irish-German-Hungarian) and tall and good-looking. He's madly in love with ME. Fat, unpretty, ethnic, biracial ME. ME. My spirit, mind and soul were enough to get me attention from black, Hispanic, and yes, Euro-white men (blue-eyed, green-eyed, hazel-eyed, blonde, etc).

    If you look around the media, you'll see all sorts of ethnic women married to all sorts of men. Love sees through all that crap.

    Real love isn't limited by hair or skin color. Trust me. If they love you, they love YOU, and if they can't love you as you are naturally, then really, what is that? It ain't love.

    When you learn to look at yourself with kinder eyes, you'll be more lovable. Oh, yeah. And do that before you reproduce. If your kids end up looking just like you, will you loathe them? Think about it...no guarantee your kids will look like a white spouse. None at all. Learn to love you, so you will eventually not have any obstacle to loving those just like you.

    And maybe browse these pics: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=3016
    I don't know how you can look at those ladies and not see beauty. All of them have your hair type--3c as you've said.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • BekkaPooBekkaPoo Posts: 3,861Registered Users
    **APPLAUSE**

    :occasion7::occasion7::occasion7:
    "The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
    "...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
    My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
  • 85MR285MR2 Posts: 226Registered Users
    +1 MirCurls!!!!!! :D

    That being said I spent most of my school years dumping chemicals into and searing my hair with all sorts of heat in an effort to have straight hair. It made it look so much worse. It literally melted at one point. I got made fun of a lot. In hindsight if I had just left well enough alone and worked with my curl instead of fighting it, my hair would have looked so much better. Would they still have made fun? Maybe. Ignorant people are, well, ignorant. But by having the beautiful healthy hair I have now, they would have looked the fool for poking fun. They would have looked stupid and jealous. Instead I was the one putting myself and my hair through the abuse. I let them win. I looked stupid and so did my hair. I was the fool. This site changed everything for me, I hope it can for you too.
    CG since 2/23/10!

    2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

    Trying to grow out a short haircut.

    WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
    CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
    STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2F85MR2%2F" class="Popup (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
  • NalliaNallia Posts: 2,979Registered Users
    First, MirCurls, you are damned beautiful. I know. I've seen your pics.

    Second, to the OP: I hate to be the bearer or bad news, but choosing a white man to have children with probably won't do much to make your children look white. I'm only 1/4 Black, since my grandfather was Black and my mother is half Black. I am married to a white man. My children, who are only 1/8 Black, look biracial. And they are GORGEOUS. Genetically, the genes for typical Caucasian looks seem to tend to not be dominant.

    Something like 65% of the world's population has curly hair. How are you not normal?

    I am truly sorry that you have so much hate for yourself and others like you. It is very sad. But it is something only you can change.
    "...just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face." ~Harry Dresden

    a33304d72319c25b3ad2d4d075ab3bc0.jpg
  • 85MR285MR2 Posts: 226Registered Users
    I have to ask where you are from. Sadly, there are many areas of the country (and world) where your social class and worth are determined by your skin tone. I would recommend moving as far away from where you are as you can before it's too late.

    My dad is Mexican and my mom is white. My mom used to send me out in the sun full of lemon juice trying to make me blond. Then one day my dad's girlfriend dyed me dark brown. How messed up is that? I hope you get out and see the world soon.
    CG since 2/23/10!

    2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

    Trying to grow out a short haircut.

    WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
    CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
    STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2F85MR2%2F" class="Popup (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
  • greekgoddessgreekgoddess Posts: 459Registered Users
    MirCurls - Well said.:cheers:

    I feel really sad that people still think this way. Don't mean to be harsh, but it is very ignorant.
    3a/3b & fine
    CG since 3/2010
    Low sulphate shampoo once a week:
    Elucence Moisture Benefits Shampoo

    Rinse Out Conditioner - used only when needed - Elucence Moisture Benefits, & KCKT

    Leave-in - used only when needed - KCKT

    Co-wash- Elucence Moisture Benefits Conditioner (about 1-2 a week).

    Stylers: KCKT, Eco-Styler Gel, AG:Recoil, FSG.

    Styling: Raking and smoothing product throughout hair and then the Super Soaker Method without the Denman.
  • voidofideavoidofidea Posts: 22Registered Users
    Lol. Well, you all have certainly had a lot to say, most of which I've heard from my parents and family already.

    Secondly, I'm not a girl, I'm a guy.

    Thirdly, with regards to chemically straightening my hair and all that stuff, I wouldn't do that ever. That's a little too extreme, my "self-esteem" issues as you've called it don't run that deep. In fact, I find it hilarious you all think I have self-esteem issues because I'm pretty happy with who I am and what I've done. I just wish my hair was a different color and straight because to me the traits that are recessive and rare in this world are worth preserving, even if they have no real value like an organ does. I really believe my outlook is logical. If people didn't think straight hair was better why do so many people spend tons of $$ and time burning theirs until it becomes straight?

    Also, I'm from the United States, and grew up in NYC. I spent several years living IN europe when I was 13, and I don't plan on leaving the United States for a second unless it was for vacation. As far as skin color is concerned, I'm brown but less brown than most brown people. Take a LOOKSY

    And for the last time, lol, I do not hate people like me. I just think most, not all, there can be pretty people in every gene pool, aren't as pretty as the caucasian people ive met in my life.

    And I already stated that i know how genetics work. I know that even if i manage to find a norweigan or finnish even female to fall in love with, the chances of the offspring being like them is extremely low, but the chance is still there. Otherwise, there is no chance and the child will have black eyes and hair like me.
  • BekkaPooBekkaPoo Posts: 3,861Registered Users
    Well if it wasn't that serious then why'd you post
    Why is my hair like this? What does it mean? How could a person with straight hair be attracted to someone with hair as curly as mine?

    ..in the first place..?


    People want to be accepted for who they are, not because someone is fetishizing them for XYZ reason (looks, age, financial status, race, etc). But people with good sense don't stick around long with people who only appreciate them for external reasons..

    But then you did get the attention you wanted so badly.
    "The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
    "...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
    My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »
    Lol. Well, you all have certainly had a lot to say, most of which I've heard from my parents and family already.

    Secondly, I'm not a girl, I'm a guy.

    Thirdly, with regards to chemically straightening my hair and all that stuff, I wouldn't do that ever. That's a little too extreme, my "self-esteem" issues as you've called it don't run that deep. In fact, I find it hilarious you all think I have self-esteem issues because I'm pretty happy with who I am and what I've done. I just wish my hair was a different color and straight because to me the traits that are recessive and rare in this world are worth preserving, even if they have no real value like an organ does. I really believe my outlook is logical. If people didn't think straight hair was better why do so many people spend tons of $$ and time burning their until it becomes straight?

    Also, I'm from the United States, and grew up in NYC. I spent several years living IN europe when I was 13, and I don't plan on leaving the United States for a second unless it was for vacation. As far as skin color is concerned, I'm brown but less brown than most brown people.

    Hey, a dude! Okay, just switch the genders in my posts. :D

    I lived in NYC for 12 years! Not the nicest hoods, though.

    Okay, you say you have great self-esteem, but that doesn't come across at all. When you want to wear a hat and don't consider brown folks beautiful, that also reflects back on you. I think there's a lot between those few lines, honestly. Just talking about preserving "recessive" traits says more than you think it does. Straight hair is not going away--Asia will see to that. What you are focused on is "whiteness" implied by that hair (although lots of white folks have curly hair as all those Irish nuns who taught me as a kid can visually testify to).

    Because people seek after a particular ideal of hair doesn't mean the hair is better in the most objective sense. For centuries, women burned their hair in pursuit of curls (you've seen the art, read the history books, yes?). You've been to the Met. What did the Greeks and Romans do to their hair? CURL IT. Look at the goddesses and gods and Roman matrons with their elaborate coifs.

    Because Greeks or Florentines dyed their hair blonde or used arsenic and lead to make themselves paler doesn't mean those are logical ideals. It's like saying only large-breasted women should reproduce cause men like boobies that are huge. Or saying only men with enormous members should pass on their genes. Or only people with straight, white teeth are worhty. Or only men who are taller than 6 feet are attractive. Or only women with size 7 or smaller feet are worth having their DNA preserved.

    It's crazy. The limitations we put on stuff is crazy. Sometimes what we designate as beautiful is obsessive and nuts. Normally, what is rarer is more prized, hence the whiter and smaller or taller or thinner or fatter (depending on the period and famine levels) are valued. But if we stop to logically consider, if we have the historical perspective and ability to look beyond preset notions and cliched metaphors, we can see how silly it is to say, "Red hair is better than brown hair. C cups are better than B cups. Tiny feet are better than big feet. Round eyes are better than long eyes.""

    If what you value is white skin or straight hair, then what you should do is not reproduce and encourage whites to marry whites, straight-hair to marry straight hair. That's what that sort of thinking logically leads to.

    If you court women of Euro-white DNA, then you are the one belying your intention to preserve their characteristics. Thought and action are incongruent.

    It only leads to that metaphorical darkness, thinking that way.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • 85MR285MR2 Posts: 226Registered Users
    I can think of someone else that was concerned with preserving and promoting caucausian genetics. The funny thing is, he wasn't white either.

    I'm bowing out of the discussion here. Good luck to you.
    CG since 2/23/10!

    2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

    Trying to grow out a short haircut.

    WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
    CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
    STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2F85MR2%2F" class="Popup (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »

    And for the last time, lol, I do not hate people like me. I just think most, not all, there can be pretty people in every gene pool, aren't as pretty as the caucasian people ive met in my life.

    And I already stated that i know how genetics work. I know that even if i manage to find a norweigan or finnish even female to fall in love with, the chances of the offspring being like them is extremely low, but the chance is still there. Otherwise, there is no chance and the child will have black eyes and hair like me.

    Well, I understand finding X or Y or Z in people more attractive. I happen to find Asian males crazy hot, especially Japanese (and I am a bit of a Japanophile). I love those Asian eyes and the particular bone structure and the sound of the language. But I also find lots of Celtic dudes hot, Indian dudes, African dudes (Djimon Hounsou makes my teeth shiver), and Latino Dudes. South American Indian looks are beautiful to me (for some reason those Peruvian dudes with the black hair and nutbrown skin really do it for me). I also like blond hair and red hair. :D Curly and straight.

    I don't characterize by race, per se, since very race has something beautiful. (And race itself is an idiotic construct if you really look at it. Whether it's a Christian view or a Darwinian, origin tends to skew to the darker lands, babe. If the evolutionists are right, we're all African. If the Bible is right, we're all Mesopotamian.)


    But, really, if you're gonna live your philosophy, you're the genetic timebomb. If you don't see how that is self-loathing, well...
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    MirCurls wrote: »
    If what you value is white skin or straight hair, then what you should do is not reproduce and encourage whites to marry whites, straight-hair to marry straight hair. That's what that sort of thinking logically leads to.

    If you court women of Euro-white DNA, then you are the one belying your intention to preserve their characteristics. Thought and action are incongruent.

    LOL, good point. Helllooooo, race troll! I too, am bowing out of this thread.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    .
  • CurlyminxCurlyminx Posts: 5,581Registered Users
    I bet his girlfriends want to date him to get rid of their "anglo" look.

    Can we say troll?

    Look dude, just shave your head, wear color contacts and tell yourself you love your ethnicity.

    :evil2: :laughing8:
    tumblr_mk2chrdnQe1qzwi58o1_500.gif
    Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

    Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fcurlymix%2F" class="Popup
    pw: curls

    Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
  • voidofideavoidofidea Posts: 22Registered Users
    BekkaPoo wrote: »
    Well if it wasn't that serious then why'd you post
    Why is my hair like this? What does it mean? How could a person with straight hair be attracted to someone with hair as curly as mine?
    ..in the first place..?


    People want to be accepted for who they are, not because someone is fetishizing them for XYZ reason (looks, age, financial status, race, etc). But people with good sense don't stick around long with people who only appreciate them for external reasons..

    But then you did get the attention you wanted so badly.

    Hahahahahahah, "smells like troll," real mature. You're saying I'm a troll because I have a particular belief than you. At least the other poster is giving some interesting insights that is making me think. What exactly do you mean when you say "who they are?" Exactly what you've just listed as XYZ reasons. What makes a person who they are? What they look like, and what they do. There is no difference between that and the list you've just given me.

    To the other person, its true people did covet curly hair at a time. I really don't mind it all that much actually but under the sunlight like on a bright day, curly hair at this length anyway looks different than people with straight. I live on a college campus where 70 % of the people are white, so i see alot of people with lighter straight hair than me and it looks different under direct sunlight. I dunno, this is the length it is at now, and the length it was before i cut it last year respectively



    And now people are comparing me to Adolf Hitler....really? Making fun of my background too? Well I guess when one brings up an issue like this one should expect angry resistance

    And oh yeah, for the third time, this site is good stuff, I've even bought products from this website, so relax, I'm not hear to feel superior, I'm hear to say what I believe guaranteed by the first amendment of the US constitution, and to voice my frustration with my hair. Thank you all very much

    And mira person, I never thought that it could work in a reverse order. I guess logically, if think in this manner, the next step would be for me NOT to have children lol, which is sort of depressing. Hmmm ..... something to think about. It's crazy because, yeah I guess it is my own deal, I was in a restaurant a few weeks ago when visiting my dad in the city and, I saw three interracial couples, white female with asian, black, and brown. I said to myself wow how come they dont like me i can be cool too.
  • ShanaVilloriaShanaVilloria Posts: 263Registered Users
    Dude, your hair is awesome! If you hang around here I'm sure lots of the ladies will agree. Guys with curls are hawt, including yours.

    If you'd like to learn how to help your hair look its best in its curly state, then check out the "Start Here" thread in the Newbie forum. Here's the link: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=97388

    You'll find that most of the posters on the forums are female, but there are definitely other guys like you, so don't hesitate to follow their lead.


    ETA: woops, I didn't see that you'd already been using the site before I rushed to post. I just saw the pictures and had to give you some encouragement.

    Second edit: And re: having girls like you. Everyone wants to find someone ideal who will dig 'em. Don't worry! When you're least expecting it someone will appear in your life and it will be just right.

    Photobucket of Babies: /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fphotobucket.com%2FVilloriaBoys" class="Popup
    Fotki of Hair through the Ages: /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fshanavilloria%2F" class="Popup

    CG Since October 29, 2009.
    2A and 3A
    Co-wash:
    GTTT
    Rinse out: DevaCurl OneC, KCKT
    Leave in: Curl Junkie Beauticurls
    Styling: CHS Curl Keeper + KCCC
    u10Jm7.png
  • crimsonshedemoncrimsonshedemon Posts: 2,098Registered Users
    MirCurls
    BRAVO!!!! :cheers:
  • MirCurlsMirCurls Posts: 2,660Registered Users
    voidofidea wrote: »

    To the other person, its true people did covet curly hair at a time. I really don't mind it all that much actually but under the sunlight like on a bright day, curly hair at this length anyway looks different than people with straight. I live on a college campus where 70 % of the people are white, so i see alot of people with lighter straight hair than me and it looks different under direct sunlight. I dunno, this is the length it is at now, and the length it was before i cut it last year respectively

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fs534.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee345%2Fvoidofidea%2F%3Faction%3Dview%26amp%3Bcurrent%3DPhoto69.jpg" class="Popup

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fi534.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee345%2Fvoidofidea%2F2521_53725154670_596999670_1469718_.jpg" class="Popup



    And mira person, I never thought that it could work in a reverse order. I guess logically, if think in this manner, the next step would be for me NOT to have children lol, which is sort of depressing. Hmmm ..... something to think about. It's crazy because, yeah I guess it is my own deal, I was in a restaurant a few weeks ago when visiting my dad in the city and, I saw three interracial couples, white female with asian, black, and brown. I said to myself wow how come they dont like me i can be cool too.

    Okay, I'm looking at those pics and what you see is clearly not what I see. I see a very handsome young man who has Middle Eastern type looks. You have what I call "Adonis hair"--very well-formed, thick curls. Your eyes are spectacular. Your coloring is lovely.

    I totally do not get why you want to look like someone else. In fact, I bet if you could read minds, the people around you would be thinking, "Wow, that guy has beautiful hair." You could be a Greek goddess' love object in a master's painting.

    Seriously....

    And curly hair isn't just for the past. Right now, the hot hairstyle for women is long, spiral curls, not straight-straight hair. Look at the actresses and music celebrities and see what they're doing. Things are cyclical. The eighties was big on big curls--and that's not that long ago, either.

    Straight hair is more reflective and controlled looking which is part of why it's favored, no doubt. But that doesn't mean that curls aren't alluring.

    As the world becomes more eco-conscious, and as multicultural acceptance becomes more of the calling cry, people will hopefully see what is beautiful in their own reflections.

    Anyway, I'm not gonna call you a troll or tell you that you can't speak your mind. I will say that you should take care with how you word things or you will SEEM like a troll, especially given the context/location. Freedom of speech comes hand in hand with responsibilty to speak with care for one's neighbors.

    And yes, if you examine your philosophy closely, you find that it neuters you. Makes you wanna rethink, I hope.
    3a3b
    Natural since 11/25/09
    Then: fine, superdry, non-elastic, porous
    Now: medium, dry, elastic, lower porosity, BSL

    Curl Junkie Conditions!
    Eden BW Cleansing Condish Rocks!

    ~CJ Protein Tx
    ; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
    ~SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
    Dumped clumps for VOLUME!

    Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
  • CSICSI Posts: 140Registered Users
    I think it's very brave of you to post how you feel. However, in order to truly love someone else you MUST love yourself first. Once you learn to do that, you may be surprised at all the wonderful people you might have missed out on that are nothing like your dreams :) It seems like you've had a lot of opportunities in your life that were meant to OPEN doors for you. It would be sad if you single-handedly closed them because you're living in a dream world. Remember, dreams aren't real.....
  • voidofideavoidofidea Posts: 22Registered Users
    i feel real bad now people, sorry, mad paranoid im gonna chill out so i dont get in trouble
«13