CurlTalk

Rant: Unsolicited horror stories

vegas_curlsvegas_curls Posts: 857Registered Users
No need to reply ladies. I've been in serious lurker mode for the last 7 or so months, so I know many of you don't *know* me, so I don't expect a lot (if any) of responses. I'm just venting.

But I'm wondering what is the deal with women who feel compelled to tell pregnancy horror stories to pregnant women?

Cases in point:

1) Ladies ask me how I feel, to which I respond, "Great." This is true, because I've been blessed to have never been sick a day of my pregnancy. Their response, "Oh that's good, because I was sick as a dog the entire time. I threw up all the time, I couldn't hold anything down, I was always dizzy, I broke out in a rash... blah blah blah..." *heavy sigh*

2) I'm still able to wear stylish heels, or *gasp* platforms, and I get looked at like I've committed some type of great error. Next come the stories of how their feet swelled up and they could never wear cute shoes during that time and all they could do is wear men's slip-ons or flip-flops or how their feet grew a size and never went back down... *heavier sigh*

3) Now that I'm nearing the final stages, I'm being bombarded with stories of emergency c-sections at 34 weeks or worse, 8-month pregnancies ending abruptly due to fetal deaths... *Um, seriously?!?! You want to share that with me now?!?!*

For real, seriously. Can't you (gy) just be genuinely happy for me? Or have some... a few... one or 2 encouraging words? Can you let me relish in my moment without ruining it with your or someone else's bad experiences?

How about we all revert to what we were taught as children, "If you don't have anything nice to say, the don't say anything at all..."

Okay - rant over.

Comments

  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    I know what you mean. I don't know why people feel compelled to share that stuff. I'm glad you've had an enjoyable pregnancy, though! :)

    And I wore heels until about a week or two ago. I mostly stopped because I looked like a stork who swallowed a bowling ball, not because my feet were swollen...LOL
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    I think the first example is just because people like to talk about themselves and their pregnancies.

    I think the second example is because people feel like they need to make excuses as to why they didn't wear heels or look stylish (not that one needs to wear heels to look stylish) when they were pregnant.

    The third, there's just no excuse. Why would someone say things like that to a pregnant woman? That's terrible!



    Anyway I'm glad you're feeling great and having an easy pregnancy. With my first I wore heels up until the end too. The only reason I didn't with my second was because I was busy chasing a 2-year-old, so I wouldn't have been wearing heels anyway.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    I have to chuckle, because with the 2 responses you received, both posters felt compelled to share some aspect of their own pregnancy experiences. Really...it's just what women do. Women tend to remember their pregnancies and births very clearly, even many decades later. And they like to share them. That tells me that pregnancy and birth are very important to the human experience. I don't think you can avoid it. You're a member of the large-old-never-ending-mom-club now, so you're going to hear the stories. The death stories were inappropriate, but the other stuff...I think you need to learn to just let it roll off your back.
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    I have to chuckle, because with the 2 responses you received, both posters felt compelled to share some aspect of their own pregnancy experiences. Really...it's just what women do. Women tend to remember their pregnancies and births very clearly, even many decades later. And they like to share them. That tells me that pregnancy and birth are very important to the human experience. I don't think you can avoid it. You're a member of the large-old-never-ending-mom-club now, so you're going to hear the stories. The death stories were inappropriate, but the other stuff...I think you need to learn to just let it roll off your back.

    I agree. I actually liked them. It's better than being shocked that it not. all puppie, rainbows and pink unicorns.

    I do remember driving home from my in-laws house for some family gathering. I had been bumbarded with dozens of dead baby stories. I didn't know whether to cry out of dispair or burstt out laughing cause of the sheer absurdity of telling a first time knocked-upper tales of terror.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    I had the opposite problem, I had a horrible time being pregnant, and everyone was telling me all those wonderful stories about how great it was being pregnant.

    Also, I used to love those "once the baby's born" horror stories. You know, the say goodbye to sleep, your sex life, fun, etc. Cracked me up.
  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    cympreni wrote: »
    I had the opposite problem, I had a horrible time being pregnant, and everyone was telling me all those wonderful stories about how great it was being pregnant.

    I didn't like being pregnant, so it was SO hard for me to understand how anyone would. Not only that, it was irritating both because of my hormones and because I just didn't understand what was wrong with me that I didn't enjoy it, so those stories really bugged me.

    And RCW is right, people just like to share pregnancy stories! :)
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    I think any unsolicited horror stories are awful, whether reproductive or otherwise.